Eyes to See

My mind feels full of topics and tasks this Monday.  In this, I’m experiencing that God is inviting me to be with Him in my dizzying drive to accomplish, achieve, and finish.  This weekend God was inviting me to experience Him, and rest, while playing various kinds of games with Gabe and Olivia.  Initially, God gave me the grace to notice my resistance to taking a break from the home projects my heart and mind was drawn to.  Then, I noticed impatience and frustration rising in my heart, while trying to teach or play these games with Olivia and Gabe.  My desire to accomplish, my impatience, and my frustration became walls that separated me from moments of enjoyment with my kids.  They separated me from intimate and enjoyable interactions with these dear ones.  They were barriers holding me back from actually experiencing the present moment with my kids.

As God gave me eyes to see this, I attempted to open to my kids…but, this was not an easy task!  It was painful. God had given me eyes to see my own limitations, but then I experienced how difficult it was to change my pattern of behavior.  I felt some anxiety, and I felt a little lost, not fully knowing how to change, or how to act differently.  Yet, as I quietly conversed with God in those moments, it seemed like God gave me eyes to see small, appropriate steps that I might make at the time.  And, there were small changes…though they felt microscopic.  However, me, Gabe, and Olivia experienced those moments differently.  Those moments were more intimate, more gracious, and more fun than if I had not had eyes to see how I was avoiding a life lived with my kids, in the recognition of their needs, limitations, and maturity.
 

This experience has challenged me in my relationship with my kids.  It has also encouraged me, as I experienced God getting into the nitty-gritty of my life.  God was/is at work so that I can experience a greater quality of life, giving me eyes to see relational dynamics, and even eyes to see the next baby-step to take in my relationship with my kids. 

 

What painful awareness might God be giving you eyes to see?  

How are you talking to Him about those new things that you see?