Monday, September 30, 2013

A New Stretch of my Journey

What is going on?  How did I get here?

I've asked these questions of myself and others at many points in my life.  Sometimes it has been during a trip, after waking in the night and finding that I'm not sleeping in my bed at home.  At other times it has been after an afternoon nap, and waking with mild disorientation.  Still, there have been times when these questions have been more birthed out of my disoriented heart, than out of my groggy mind.

As my family has moved to Vestal, NY, so that I can serve at Union Center Christian Church, these questions have been bubbling up to the surface of my heart.  This "bubbling", and sometimes mini-eruptions, have come because this transition has taken steps requiring faith without sight (which is experienced as a lack of control).  My heart has experienced  disorientation, and I have asked myself and God these questions to try and find some sure footing in this new season of life.  And this has all taken place while feeling like God has led us to Union Center.

At moments, this disorientation has created anxiety and fear.  During these moments, I have felt a burden to have immediate answers regarding the limitless future possibilities, as well as instant provisions for future needs, and also security within the vagueness of what might happen in the near and distant future.  While, at times, I have clawed for control and answers for all of these, the only way that I've been able to experience peace and a life free (or more free) of anxiety, is by opening to God's loving presence in my life and in the world.  As I open to this truth of God-with-me and God-for-me, my faith is bolstered.  This response to God acknowledges my inability to see and control all things in life. Also, opening to God in faith seems to answer some of my deepest needs.

This blog will be a disclosing of my own thoughts and journey of opening to God.  In this, I expect God to lead us in a continued discovery that I am (and we are) received, welcomed, and loved by my Heavenly Father.